Woman guilt trips cousin to fund her new baby’s expenses, despite cousin saving up for a study abroad program, family pressures her anyway: “It’s a family emergency, your studies can wait”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 16, 2025 3:00 PM EST

When I was 13-years-old I started saving money from holidays, Christmas, and birthdays, because I knew I wanted to buy a car when I was old enough to drive. I had odd jobs under the table in the neighborhood, like organizing people's houses, cleaning, pet sitting, etc. I got my first job at 15-years-old, and I was determined to save my money for the car. When I was 17-years-old I raised enough money to buy myself a car – a 2004 Nissan Sentra. It was by no means fancy, well-put together, or reliable, but it was mine. I was so proud of myself for saving thousands of dollars at such a young age, and it will always mean a lot to me. Working hard for yourself without a lot of help from family or others is a source of great pride and happiness, and no one should take that away from you. 

In this story, the protagonist is a woman like myself, who saved money from a young age to provide something in her life that she always wanted, an opportunity to study abroad. Studying abroad is a beautiful and enriching experience for anyone attending university, and there's no price tag on that. 

She thinks she's all set to go until her cousin comes in with some entitled request. She tells her she needs her savings for her new baby due to financial stress.

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  • 01

    AITAH for refusing to give my cousin the money I've been saving for my lifelong dream?

    "You're prioritizing a luxury vacation over family" ABD
    via didecs from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (20F) have been saving for a study abroad program since I was 18. It's not just a trip - it's been my dream for years to travel, learn, and grow outside of my home town. I've worked endless shifts, skipped vacations, and sacrificed so much to finally have enough money to make it happen. I've been counting down the days.
    via u/miamonroexa
  • 03
    YKPATHA ПАСПОРТ YKPAIHA ПАСПОРТ NA I UKRAINE PASSPORT
    via RossHelen / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 04
    Enter my cousin (23F). She's recently pregnant and struggling financially. Last week, she came to me asking for money to help with baby expenses. Not a small amount either - basically everything I've saved. She called it "a family emergency" and said it's my duty to help because,
    via u/miamonroexa
  • 05
    according to her, my dream trip is just "a luxury" compared to her needs.
    via u/miamonroexa
  • 06
    When I said no, she flipped out. She accused me of being selfish, heartless, and not caring about her or her baby. She told me I can just "save up again", like two years of hard work can magically be redone overnight. Then he mom (my aunt) chimed in, saying I'm a terrible family member and that I'll regret this when I', older.
    via u/miamonroexa
  • 07
    My cousin even told the rest of my family, and now everyone is texting me, saying I'm prioritizing a "vacation" over her child's future.
    via u/miamonroexa
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10454700032
    via tatyana_tomsickova from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    I've worked so hard for this, and I don't feel like it's fair to give it all up just because she didn't plan. her life better. But the guilt trips are getting to me, and now I'm questioning myself. Am I being selfish for wanting to protect something I've worked years to achieve? AITAH?
    via u/miamonroexa

  • Her family is gaslighting her…I hope she stays strong .

  • 10
    Local Equipment_... 8h ago NTA. Someone else's poor decisions and planning are not your responsibility. If she can't afford a baby, she shouldn't have one, and she also has her mother to help her. Enjoy your travel.
    via u/Local Equipment_
  • 11
    Distinct_Clue6724 • 8h ago Make her a GoFundMe, donate $10 and be sure to send it to all the relatives. Include everybody in the thread so they can each see what the other is giving. And make sure the bratty cousin and baby-daddy are included.
    via u/Distinct_Clue6724
  • 12
    I don't know if the site allows this, but it would be awesome if it shows the names you sent to and how much they gave. Or at least the list of people that did give. edit to add NTA
    via u/Distinct_Clue6724
  • 13
    Inevitable_Project49 • 8h ago NTA but if it were me I'd want to know how she came up with the amount that you have saved. Does someone know how much you have saved and told her?
    via u/Inevitable_Project49
  • 14
    . Srvntgrrl_789 ⚫ 8h ago NTA. I hope you have your money in an account that no one can access.
    via u/Srvntgrrl_789

  • I can completely understand that she doesn't want to give her life savings. She's only 20! 

  • 15
    mustang 19671967 8h ago Don't be guilted for being responsible and not helping someone who is not. Block her and stay away
    via u/mustang 19671967
  • 16
    ChaoticCapricorn • 8h ago I beg your finest pardon??!!!! NTA. 1. stop telling people about your money, including family. They won't come asking for what they don't know you have.
    via u/ChaoticCapricorn
  • 17
    2. Don't stop planning for your life because they screwed up theirs 3. Find your spine and dip it in gold. You are going to get a LOT of hate for not giving in, so better to be ready now.
    via u/ChaoticCapricorn
  • 18
    Mcfly Throwaway01 • 8h ago ΝΤΑ TELL YOUR AUNT TO DRAIN HER RETIREMENT ACCOUNT TO FUND HER DAUGHTERS PREGNANCY EXPENSES.
    via u/Mcfly Throwaway01
  • 19
    A family emergency isn't a cousin getting pregnant and being broke.
    via u/Mcfly Throwaway01
  • 20
    Worldly Act5867 • 8h ago How dare she even ask you? Her baby, her responsibility
    via u/Worldly Act5867
  • 21
    Broad_Woodpecke... • 8h ago Tell your family that you're grateful they are so supportive of her and as such must be willing to bankroll her needs
    via u/Broad_Woodpecke
  • 22
    Tricky_Direction_897 • 8h ago NTA. Wouldn't give her a penny. Let those concerned family members ban together to chip in since it's an emergency and all...
    via u/Tricky_Direction_897
  • 23
    Maplegloww ⚫2h ago Ouchh, that s ks. I feel bad for u having to deal w all that pressure from ur fam, but dont give in, its ur money and ur future.
    via u/Maplegloww

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